Motley Crue Masterpiece Theatre

I thought it would be interesting do read some actual stories from Motley Crue’s Biography the Dirt: “confessions form the worlds more notorious rock band”

This is what I call Motley Crue Masterpiece Theater

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From Drummer Thomas Lee

The 1987 Girls, Girls, Girls tour was the raddest time I ever had in my life, or at least I think it was, because nothing stands out but a blur of insanity. We had a huge-ass jet, we had endless cash, and we could do whatever we wanted. We partied like clockwork, bro. For a while, we even had this drug kingpin following the tour bus in an exotic Excalibur with a licence plate that said: DEALER. Whenever we got out of the bus, he would suddenly appear with his diamond-packed Rolex, gold chains and a token couple of *&^*es on each arm, throwing bundles of coke to everyone in the band and crew. He was the pimpest drug dealer ever and he always had his party hat on. But the record company flipped out and told us he had to go because he was a magnet for cops and trouble. We were sorry to see him leave, but dealers and pimps and partied-out freaks were a dime a dozen on that tour.

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From Drummer Thomas Lee

6.30pm-6.45pm: Baggage call. Knock on door. Bellboy retrieves suitcases, which have not been opened since bellboy last dropped them off in room. Put on clothes from previous night. Spend 10 minutes searching for sunglasses.

6.45pm-7pm: Wander out of room. Find lobby. See band. Say: “Hey, dude, how about last night?” “That was $%^*ng fun.” “Yeah.” Find van or limo transportation to the gig.

7pm-8pm: Arrive at venue. Sound check. Nurse hangover backstage. Submit dinner order. Get massage to remove some toxins from system. Drink. Listen to music. Hang out. Come back to life. Meet record and radio creeps. Listen to them ask: “Don’t you remember pissing on that cop car?” Answer honestly: “Um, no.”

8pm-9.15pm: Drink or snort cocaine with opening act when they come offstage.

9.15pm-9.20pm: Production manager gives five-minute call. Lift weights backstage to get pumped up and sweat out toxins. Production manager yells: “Showtime!”

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from guitarist Mick Mars

When I was recording the staccato guitar line at the end of Girls, Girls, Girls, I fell out of the chair because I was so drunk (though we used the take anyway

Before I went on stage, I’d line up six shots of vodka next to an open can of Coke, and then down them all. During the show, I’d have a glass of pure vodka on the side, which the other guys thought was water. Afterwards, I’d bring out a jar of Mars-ade – a mix of tequila, orange juice and grenadine – and suck that down.

Alcohol would bring out sides of my personality that I never even knew existed. But I never really got into the decadence or the hard drugs like the rest of the band did. When cocaine became a problem, I stopped. Not like Nikki. I was mad as hell when I first saw him doing heroin. But how can you save someone like that from himself?

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From Manager Doc McGee

The first thing that happened when we arrived in Japan was that Tommy got caught with pot in his drum kit. Mr Udo bailed us out of that and, a few days later, we were all leaving Osaka on the bullet train after a show. These clowns were in full costume, with make-up running down their faces and chains and tattoos everywhere. Nikki and Tommy went completely out of control. If you flew above the train in a helicopter, you would have seen all these Japanese people scurrying like cockroaches out of the car we were in. If you zoomed in, you would have seen Nikki throwing a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and hitting a Japanese businessman on the back of the skull. Lower the microphone and you would have heard the guy screaming as the blood pumped out of his head. It was just brutal.

When we pulled into the Tokyo station, there were hundreds of policemen running alongside the car. “Hey Nikki,” I said. “Your fan club’s here.” And he was so wacked out that he didn’t realise they’d sent the riot squad after him. He thought it was an adoring Japanese public.

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From Tommy Lee

9.20pm-10pm: Try to get into the groove onstage. Play All in the Name Of…, Live Wire and Dancing on Glass.

10pm-11pm: Blood begins to flow. Adrenalin kicks in. Play Looks That Kill, Ten Seconds to Love, Red Hot, Home Sweet Home and Wild Side, and play them well. Split fifth of whiskey with Nikki during bass and drum solo. Backstage, Vince washes sleeping pill down with beer; Mick drinks glass of straight vodka and smiles because he thinks he has the rest of the band fooled into believing it’s plain water.

11pm-11.15pm: Finish show with Helter Skelter and Girls, Girls, Girls. Walk offstage hyperventilating. Grab oxygen mask. Stare at untouched dinner.

11.15pm-11.45pm: Wait for someone to ask: “Anybody got a line?” Cut up drugs. Snort drugs. Change from sweaty stage leathers back into sweaty street leathers. Find hospitality room. Meet fans. Watch rest of band hunt for human entertainment. Consider partaking. Go to production office. Call Heather .

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11.45pm-midnight: Ask management for permission to stay in city. Beg management for permission to stay in city. Accuse them of purposely making band travel to next town during the only hours when bars and strip clubs are open. Attempt to punch them when they confirm accusation. Get in van or limo for airport.

Midnight-3am: Arrive at airport. Wait for Vince to finish with girl in airport bathroom. Meet drug dealers on tarmac. Board Gulfstream plane with black leather interior. Find designated seat. Make sure stewardess has laid out correct drugs and drink on each meal tray. For Nikki, white wine and zombie dust – a mix of Halcion, a nervous system sedative, and cocaine, a nervous system stimulant which, when consumed, keeps body awake but shuts brain off. For Vince, sleeping pill. For Mick, vodka. For me, cocktail and zombie dust.

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